How to Cuff a Queen
by SwanQueen4tw
Summary: Set after RH leaves Storybrooke. One night Emma and Regina become drinking buddies and wake up handcuffed the next morning.


**A/N: My friend,** **alategentleman,** **and I came up with a story idea and decided to write our own stories. I hope you enjoy! Thank you Ryan!**

 _I hate seeing Regina hurt. She's being the better person, once again, and letting Robin leave town so he can be with his wife and son. Regina asked if I would keep Henry tonight so she could have some alone time. I agreed but didn't like it._ _She shouldn't be alone._

"Ma. Ma. Earth to Emma."

My inner turmoil was interrupted when a paper ball hit my face. "What?"

"You're worried about Mom aren't you?" Henry looked at me with sympathetic eyes. "Why don't you check on her?"

"She asked to be alone. Kid, if I've learned anything over the past few years it's that when your mom asks me to do something, I better do it. Otherwise I'll come face to face with a fireball." I smiled inwardly remembering how irritated the brunette got when I wouldn't obey.

"Come on, Ma. When have you ever done what Mom has asked?" The shaggy haired boy grinned as he saw my resolve weakening. "You know you wanna. Mary Margaret and David are out getting dinner. You only have a ten minute window to get out of here before they get back." Before Henry could continue, my phone buzzed. "Who's that?"

"It's a text from your Mom." Opening the message I snorted.

 _Miss. Swan, as your boss, I order you to bring me that bottle of whiskey you keep hidden from your parents in the freezer under the box of corndogs. ~R_

 _Who says it's still there? And when have I ever done what you've asked? ~E_

 _Miss. Swan, do as I say or else…. ~R_

 _Or else what? You'll punish me? ~E_ I couldn't help but laugh. The next text was just three fireball emojis. _Okay. Okay. I'll be right there. Calm down. ~E_

"Well, your Mom said she needs me to bring something over. So, I'm going to head out." Henry watched as I opened the freezer and took out the large bottle of whiskey. Turning back, I couldn't help but groan at my son's smug look. "Don't judge us. You'll understand one day."

Xxx

Before I could even knock on the door, it opened. "Good, you're here. Please, come in." The brunette's eyes were red and slightly swollen.

"Of course." I gave the chilled bottle to the former Mayor and followed her to the den. "I brought Jack Daniels but there's a bottle of Crown Royal in your crypt." Regina's head tilted slightly in shock. "Last time I brought Crown Royal into Mary Margret's house she found out just how much she enjoyed the Canadian blended whiskey."

"Well it seems your mother isn't as snow white as she would like us all to believe." In her almost buzzed state, Regina chuckled at her own words. "What flavor is the Crown Royal?"

"It's their new apple flavored one. Shall we drink it instead? I can go get it."

Regina thought a moment before placing the Jack Daniels beside the empty crystal where cider once was. "Yes. Do you remember how to teleport yourself?" I gave a simple nod. "Good. Go ahead. Oh, Miss. Swan, never hide anything else in my crypt without telling me first." I grinned sheepishly at the shorter woman before disappearing in a cloud of smoke.

It didn't take me long to retrieve the bottle. Once I returned, Regina had two glasses with ice waiting for me. "I'm not going to give you a hope speech, I swear." I poured a fair amount of the golden liquid into each glass.

"Thank you. I could deal without hearing your mother's voice for one night." Regina took a glass in her hand.

"A round of crown for the Queen?" My cheesy grin caused Regina to roll her eyes. "Try to lighten up Regina. Just forget about the outside world for one night?"

"I can drink to that." We clicked the crystal glasses before throwing back the smooth liquor. "Not bad, Swan. I'll give you this, you may eat like a child, but you have great taste in liquor and wine."

"Thanks. One request?" The older woman agreed as she poured us each another round. "Don't call me Swan, please."

"Alright, but why? Guyliner calls you that and you seem to like it." Regina leaned back on the small vintage couch as I sat on the other end.

Debating my words, I swirled the whiskey. "I don't really have a preference as long as he doesn't call me "m'lady." But coming from you, I'd rather: Emma, Miss. Swan, or even idiot."

A soft smile tugged at the brunette's lips. "Why is that? And I think you would kill anyone who called you that." A pause, "m'lady."

"Regina…" I tried to warn only to have my grin give me away. Finishing the second shot, I poured us each another. "I don't know I just don't. I mean, I know loved ones give nicknames and they are supposed to be a term of endearment but…." My voice trailed off as did my train of thought. The liquor was starting to take its toll since I hadn't eaten much.

"Started well that sentence." _And it seemed to be affecting her as well._ "Robin gave me a nickname that I didn't care for as well." My brow rose in question. "He called me Gina." The brunette's nose scrunched in disapproval. "I'm a grown woman. I'd rather not have a child's nickname."

"I couldn't fathom calling you that. It doesn't suit you at all. Although, I'm not sure what nickname I'd give you." By now, half the bottle was gone and I was feeling pretty good. "But I think you've given me one without knowing."

"And what would that be?" There was a chuckle laced in the woman's voice.

"Idiot." I started to feel warm from the liquor so I took off my jacket. "For now, may I just lay this over the chair? I'd rather you not throw a fireball at me for not hanging it up."

Another eye roll. "Yes, you may. What makes you think "idiot" is a term of endearment?"

"Just how you use it. The look you give when you call me that." _If this conversation is going to continue, I'll need a few more shots. Good grief how did this conversation start again?_

Regina's eyes narrowed. "And what look is that?"

"I don't know, just an irritated one but not the same kind of irritation as other people." I refilled each glass. By now, Regina's nose was pink and she had a catlike grin. _She's feeling tipsy too._

"Interesting. So, by that theory, when I call your pirate mascot names, you think I care for him?"

Regina's words took a moment to sink in. _So, when she uses a nickname, she cares about the person? Like she uses with Henry and me? She cares? No. Emma, don't read into this. We're both pretty tipsy._ "I never said you cared, but I think when you call Hook handless wonder and guyliner you mean it as a jab not endearment." 

Regina scoffed as she poured us another drink. "A jab of what? Jealousy? Not a chance. Why would I be jealous of a dirty pirate?"

My brow rose as I turned the glass back. "I never said you were jealous of Hook." I paused, "Why would you be jealous of Hook? It's not like you want me." Regina was quiet. "Do you?"

"Miss. Swan, don't be ridiculous." Regina split the last of the bottle between us.

 _If my calculations are correct, that's about eight shots each._ Tilting my head, I grinned. "You're lying."

"Excuse me?"

I could see the brunette's defenses rise. "Remember Regina, I always know when you're lying." _I need to tread with caution if I'm going to play this right._

"I'm not lying, Miss. Swan." Regina tried to be serious but the look in her eyes told the truth. They were vulnerable and scared.

"Prove it. Let's settle this on a bet. You beat me at a game of," I looked around the room quickly and saw the chess board. "Chess and I'll drop this whole topic. But if you lose, you have to tell me the truth. Deal?"

"There's no truth to tell, but if it will make you drop the subject, deal."

"Why don't we make this more interesting and make it strip chess?" I couldn't help the grin I had.

"You're kidding me?"

"Nope." Taking a seat at the table, it suddenly dawned on me that I had no clue how to play. _Oh shit._

"What's wrong, Miss. Swan?"

"Looking from the white pieces to Regina, I smiled sheepishly. "Is this anything like Checkers?"

A look of disbelief made its way to the brunette's face. "No. Nothing like that."

"Fuck." With each turn I found myself less clothed and Regina's eyes darker.

As she pondered her next move, I became very self-conscious. I sat there with three pieces of clothing left: my bra, my underwear, and my jeans. "Checkmate." A seductive smirk tugged at Regina's lips as she met my gaze. "Your pants, Miss. Swan."

The blood drained from my face as I stood. Hunger radiated from Regina as she watched me undo my jeans and slide out of them. "Shall we call it quits?"

Dark eyes moved up my body slowly. "Oh no. You wanted to do this, Miss. Swan. What was that about wanting the truth?"

Grumbling, I sat back down. "Damn it."

xxx

The next morning, I woke up extremely thirsty and equally hungover. _Why is my right arm behind me? And where am I?_ Fuzzy memories of last night started filtering through. _I was at Regina's, we were drinking, and then played…oh fuck!_ Pulling the sheet up, I was nearly naked. All I had on was my red lace underwear set. My heart started to pound when heard a moan behind me. _Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!_

"What the hell?" Regina's voice was groggy as she rolled onto her back. I stayed as quiet and still as possible in fear of being yelled at, or worse, killed. Another groan and Regina pulled her left arm over to cover her eyes. My stomach dropped as the older woman stilled. _Here it comes._ Panic washed over the brunette as her eyes followed from her wrist to my back. The sheets rustled as Regina inspected her own body. An eerie calmness filled the room.

"M-morning?" My voice was nearly a whisper. _I'm going to die. This is it. At least my will is up to date._

"Would you like to explain why I'm nearly naked, handcuffed to you, and have a hangover?"

"Give it a few minutes and you'll start to remember…."

Silence fell between us while, I can only imagine, Regina blinked through the blurry memories. "I remember liquor and che…"

 _"_ _HA! Queen me, Madame Mayor!" I grinned triumphantly as my red piece invaded Regina's territory. "Now it's time for your pants to come off!"_

"Oh God…" That was all Regina said.

 _"_ _Hook is not my true love!"_

 _"_ _Prove it!"_

 _"_ _Fine! I will!" With a wave of my hand, a pair of handcuffs bound Regina and I._

 _"_ _What the hell is this?!" Regina tried pulling at her cuff. "Get this off me!"_

 _"_ _It only opens with True Love's Kiss."_

"It seemed like a good idea last night…" I dared a look back at the brunette.

"Eyes forward, Miss. Swan!"

Snapping forward, I did as she said. "Sorry."

Regina huffed. "The only way to fix this is if we get the pirate here and kisses you." I opened my mouth to argue but was cut off. "Not a word out of you. You got us into this mess. At least I _can_ use magic to get us clothed again." With a wave of her hand, we were enveloped in purple smoke.

Looking down at my shirt, I groaned. "Really? "I'm an idiot" with an arrow pointing to my face. Come on, Regina. That's not fair."

"You're the idiot who cuffed us together for some unknown reason. Now get up so we can work on sobering up before you call your boyfriend." We both tried to move and got pulled back together. "Really, Miss. Swan? Just follow my lead for once."

I tried not to take her words personal. _She's hungover and mortified. I cuffed us together to prove to Regina that she was my true love not Hook._ Entering the kitchen, I used my magic to make two bacon sandwiches. "Trust me. If you want to feel better quickly, eat the sandwich, drink water, and take Tylenol before drinking coffee."

Regina glared as she stood across from me at the island. "I'm going to use a forgetting potion on the pirate after this is over."

"Regina, Hook can't fix this. He's not…"

"Then who is?!" Her voice rose with each word and I cringed.

I suddenly became nauseous and not because of the hangover. Before I could open my mouth, my phone buzzed. "Damn it." Accepting the call, I put the phone on speaker. "Hey, Mary Margaret."

"Are you okay? Its noon and we haven't heard from you. Is Regina okay?"

"We're fine. Just talking. I'll be home in little." Regina's glare started to make me squirm.

"Okay. I'll see you later." We said our goodbyes and I ended the call.

"We're fine? How are we fine, Miss. Swan?" We both cringed at her voice. Taking a deep breath, Regina continued. "If captain guyliner can't fix this, then who can?"

Chewing my bottom lip, I looked away. "You…"

The older woman was quiet for what felt like forever. "I'm sorry. It sounded like you said I could fix this."

"Because you can…" I looked down at my plate trying to fight the lump in my throat. Another silence fell between us.

"Look at me." Regina's voice was soft. "Emma, please." Hesitantly, I met her gaze. She wasn't mad. "Emma, I know you have a crush on me. But, it's just that, a crush. You can't really believe that I'm your true love…" Her voice trailed off as she searched my eyes. "Do you?" All I did was nod. "How? You've been dating Hook."

"Only because you were with Robin." My voice cracked as I looked away.

"Emma," Regina placed her free hand over my cuffed one causing me to look up. "How can you love me? I'm not…"

"You're a good person, Regina. I know you think you're damaged, and maybe you are, but so am I. I…we understand each other more than anyone else can." Sighing, I tried to continue without my voice wavering. "But maybe it's just one sided. I don't know. I'm sorry for all of this. Maybe we should go find Forest Boy and have him kiss you. Maybe that will work."

"Now who's jabbing with nicknames?" A soft smile tugged at Regina's lips. Sighing, Regina took my hand in hers and brought it to her lips. I was speechless. "Let's see if you're right." Gently, Regina placed a kiss on my knuckles. A familiar burst of magic radiated from us and the cuffs opened. "You were right." Her voice was breathless. "Emma," satin brown eyes met mine as a deep blush worked its way up my neck.

I knew I had a cheesy smile. "I love you, Regina Mills."

"You idiot." Quickly, Regina grabbed my shirt to pull me into a kiss. "But you're _my_ idiot."


End file.
